This will serve as your Thursday pep talk! Growing up A League of Our Own was one of my favourite movies of all time. At one point a girl is crying and Tom Hanks is yelling at her, she’s visibly choking back tears he screams at her, “Are you crying? Are you crying? THERE IS NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!” I can put my life in a slow fast forward and pinpoint every moment the line “There is no crying in ____” applies. Lately, I have to constantly tell myself,”it’s just business! There is no crying in business!”
We, women, are sensitive creatures, we feel things, a lot of things, and most of the time we don’t want too but we do. The problem with life is that we feel these things and are never given the opportunity to really own our feelings. Those feelings to some men will make them uncomfortable and make you look weak and unworthy. We are made to feel shame and be embarrassed that we feel less than because we do in face “feel”.
I am all for expressing my crazy. I own my sh//t.. but I also feel like I have enough control to realize when I need Tom Hanks screaming in my ear saying “There is no crying in baseball!” and I’ll usually back away quietly and leave it be for a while! Sometimes I might even reach out to a GF who knows my crazy and usually within moments it has subsided.
Once upon a time, I met with the owner of a larger local store. We spoke about customer service and reviews. When customers complain she said,” I pour my heart and soul into this business and I want people to know my side!” My response spewed out so quickly, I honestly didn’t have time to talk myself down from what I was about to say. Like a bad case of verbal diarrhea, I responded, ” No one cares about your side but you! That is your emotional response to something personal and they’re not complaining about YOU personally but about the business and there is no room for personal in business. This is why men will sometimes succeed in different ways than women do, there is no room for emotions in business!”
After working for many years in upper management in a male dominated industry with men as my supervisors. I’ve had the moment of standing sternly face to face with a male college and fought to hold back tears. He said something unpleasant to me, in a professional way but nonetheless, still something I did not want to hear. Every moment those tears welled up in my eyes and sat like a lump in my throat I heard the phrase, “quit being such a girl!” A phrase that is almost as stupid as “grow a pair” and also a phrase I’m guilty of saying myself!
The point is, there is no crying in business, there is no space to air out your emotions. You are entitled to your feelings but you must pull up those big girl socks. Channel that sadness or anger into something productive. Let them see that you are truly amazing and this is just a setback. Stop and re-evaluate! I tell Ava every day and now I will tell you, ” There are NO problems, just solutions! Let’s look for them together!”
My life has been blessed with women that hustle every darn day and they’ve had their ups and their downs. I couldn’t be more proud to learn from, encourage and stand beside as they experience their journey! I asked some of these ladies, “When it all feels like too much, how do you pull through?” Here is what they had to say:
Here is what they had to say:
Amanda Owner of Bebe De Luxe “I’ve tried to find the positive in every situation. For instance when my pallet of supplies was mistakenly sent to the other side of the country, I embraced the downtime. I told myself the universe was giving me the break I should have been smart enough to take. To be truthful, there’s isn’t much time for crying in business. When an issue arises you become focused on finding a solution the quickest way possible that you haven’t even really had time to process the situation and be upset about it.”
Lorene from Glitter & Spice “Every business faces challenges and moments where you wonder if you can really overcome whatever is in your way. But it really comes down to how you learn to overcome them and use your them to your advantage. I like to think of it as an opportunity to make positive changes to the business. There really are no secrets to success and it is the result of hard work and learning from your trials and tribulations that will get you ahead. Next time you feel like things are starting to get tough, remember that we don’t grow when things are easy, we grow when times are tough!”
From the loveliest Jessica from Mint & Birch who I’ve been friends with throughout this entire blog journey and is probably one of the most hard working, determined and gracious ladies ever had the most to say. I’ve looked up to her, envied her and been overcome with mad respect for had many words to say!
“Business isn’t easy, but it sure is rewarding. Having a small business comes with opportunity and potential. The places that your own business can take you can be limitless. It’s like climbing a mountain that has no peak. It’s exciting and relentlessly rewarding. But there are also lots of things that can happen along the way that makes it tough.
Simply put, business is arduous and not for the faint at heart. Sometimes things don’t work out the way you want it to. There will be times when you won’t be able to juggle everything. As a result, emails go unanswered or tasks go unattended. Sometimes the fruit of your hard work can be smaller than expected. Sometimes people can be mean and even copy you. At times you may get frustrated and want to throw in the towel.
You are entitled to your emotions. Go ahead. Let it all out. Vent to your friends, eat a tub of ice cream, do some retail therapy and take a breath. But don’t throw in the towel. When you face something in business that is a hardship, say thank you to the hardship and tackle it head on.
Say thank you to the mean people as they will challenge you to be a kinder person. Accept all the tasks that are coming at you with gratitude, from this you will master the art of multi-tasking. These people are giving you the opportunity to shine, show your true colours and be better for it. Embrace the frustration as when the storm passes, and it will! Motivation will set in and your business with thrive. Thank them when things don’t work out the way you want it to. You’ll be that much better at improvising. It’s a good thing that business is hard because that’s what drives the will and drive to create a flourishing business.”
Words well spoken and truly motivated! No one said it would be easy! Whatever your struggle.. just know this…
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