Dear Airlines…  Have ever actually flown with kids before?  I am positive I can speak for most parents when I say it’s NOT the funnest experience.  I can think of several activities that I would rather do,  like wash out my entire neighbourhoods yard waste bin. Or maybe even scrub the tile around a mens public toilet with a tooth-brush. Shall I go on?  The unpleasant looks from other passengers, the often less than helpful airlines flight attendants and your insanely crazy airline prices! I’m over it. I’m calling it quits!

We used to fly every 3 months. Slowly but surely, over the last few years, we’ve drifted further and further apart! I really hoped this wasn’t going to be one of those sad lead me on kind of relationships. Like that boy in elementary school that strings you along with no intention of ever actually showing you any reciprocation.  I really thought there was more to our relationship.

Remember the beginning when you’re trying really hard to impress the other person? You’re being really easy-going and low maintenance. As time goes on the dinners get more expensive and suddenly you’ve got more opinions and are less accommodating. That’s where we are at my love! You got comfortable! First, the seat prices that went up, additional taxes came in, you got a little stingy in the snack department! One pack of 2 cookies per guest?  While fumbling with my two screaming kids that everyone is glaring at me for! I will drop one on the floor. I will also be irrationally mad at this point, as I fed EVERYONE but myself before we left the house!

Those looks and whispers from other passengers followed by the anxiety it brings is much like meeting the family for the first time.   I don’t want my kids to run around like crazy, scream cause their ears hurt or cry because they’re scared, I truly don’t but I cannot control it. No matter how hard I try to control the situation, it will cause my anxiety to flare, which will cause my children to pick up on it, guaranteeing they will act out more!

Ok so now, we’ve got comfortable with each other, showed our true selves, met the family and one of us has been more disappointed than the other.  We are now officially fighting.. so wait for it…

LUGGAGE, this is the point in the fight where I come back for one final nail in the coffin! All airlines charge $25 per checked luggage, no exceptions! It is like going to that crazy expensive restaurant and finding out that dress code is in full effect. No Suit.. No Food!  You are telling me that for myself and my two girls to fly comfortably with CLOTHING, it is going to cost me an extra $75 EACH WAY?!  ARE YOU KIDDING? You’ve taken me out for dinner, dressed me in clothes I’m not comfortable in, told me I’m not getting laid and then cleaned out wallet! You have some nerve!

I actually cannot wrap my mind around how on earth airlines think it’s ok to charge for baggage.  I can take my child on a plane, for free, bring a seat to keep her safe when driving with my baby when we are there. I can even bring her stroller or playpen but I cannot put clean clothes on her unless I want to pay $25?!

You say I can carry on.. that’s fantastic, when I grow my 8th freaking arm because my 7-year-old will get 4 steps and decide in the whiniest voice ever,” It’s to heavvvy!!” and then proceed to ask me to carry it. I will hold it in my left hand, my right hand will hold my carry on, and I’ll push the freaking stroller containing the baby with my mouth, with her diaper bag around my neck and I will simply WILL her carry on to find its way onto the airplane. That sounds pleasant.. doesn’t it?!

Tuesday morning’s flight with WestJet is right around the corner. This will be Zoe’s first flight, my first flight with a stroller since the airline BROKE Ava’s (we stopped flying with strollers after that) and my first time flying with two kids! I was really hoping for this to be a pleasant experience!  This will probably be one of my last flights with my girls, I’d rather drive!

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