#EndMommyWars is real. We feel it, all day every day! We’ve all felt judged at some point in our lives. Thankfully, I’ve been stubborn enough to not care about what other people think or even say about me for most of my life, and then I became a mom! That lack of caring attitude went straight out the window. I worried about everything and everyone!
What if my baby cried for too long, would she remember that and hate me later?
What If she cries in a restaurant, will I be asked to leave? Would I be ruining someones dinner?
Would my family judge me for the giving a soother or switching to formula?
What if she doesn’t use her manners, will people think I’m a bad mom for not insisting she ALWAYS behave?
That list goes on. I’ve also been on the other end of it. I’ve been that mom staring at you with the sideways eyes. I’ve been that mom judging another mom for whatever reason! Did those judgments make ANYONE feel better? It sure didn’t make my life any better, and probably ruined your day too. For that I am sorry. If you have ever felt judged by me as a mom… I am sorry! This video made me cry, like UGLY girl cry this morning! Please watch, #endmommywars film, might just make you stop judging moms altogether.
** Warning: It is a bit long, so you will want to watch it when you have at least 5 minutes and moms, bring tissue!**
My oldest has Anxiety and issues with perfectionism. The words OCD has also been thrown around. She melts down weekly, sometimes daily. and we fight a lot! Those worries I had then about how my actions would affect her as a baby, come flooding back often. I see how her issues with needing to be perfect or do things perfectly have become such a hindrance on her day, both at school and at home. Did I do that to her? Every time she melts down because it’s not perfect, I see myself saying, “remember to always use your manners!” “when we are out in public, you MUST behave!”
I feel her Anxiety and I have convinced myself that it is my fault, I did this to her. She could feel my worries, she could see my tension and hear my fear… I created it but I can’t stop it for her! Unfortunately, I unintentionally unleashed a monster on my daughter and I feel guilty, I worry that you think I did this to her too!
I hear us converse with each other out and about and I feel the looks. I know people hear the sound of my voice as harsh and I see your looks of disapproval. I know you judge me because sometimes I am short with her, little did you know she had 4 meltdowns before 9am. Those meltdowns were about something as trivial as clean underwear or brushing her hair.
We don’t have fun very often because every time the fun ends, a huge meltdown WILL occur. I don’t need the judgment of strangers adding to that intense pressure. Most days, it feels like she hates me enough for all of us so trust me I feel that judgment every minute..every second!
So please think really long and really hard before you judge that mama next time you’re out and you hear her speaking sternly to her child or having a screaming baby! We’re all fighting the same fight and every judgement you make about someone else, says something about you! Be kind to each other, there is no greater power than a tribe of mama’s, find comfort in our similarities and know that you aren’t alone! #EndMommyWars